IF A PERSON WHO PROVIDES CLASSROOM INSTRUCTION IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL ENGAGES IN SPEECH OR CONDUCT THAT WOULD VIOLATE THE STANDARDS ADOPTED BY THE FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION CONCERNING OBSCENITY, INDECENCY AND PROFANITY IF THAT SPEECH OR CONDUCT WERE BROADCAST ON TELEVISION OR RADIO:
1. FOR THE FIRST OCCURRENCE, THE SCHOOL SHALL SUSPEND THE PERSON, AT A MINIMUM, FOR ONE WEEK OF EMPLOYMENT, AND THE PERSON SHALL NOT RECEIVE ANY COMPENSATION FOR THE DURATION OF THE SUSPENSION. THIS PARAGRAPH DOES NOT PROHIBIT A SCHOOL AFTER THE FIRST OCCURRENCE FROM SUSPENDING THE PERSON FOR A LONGER DURATION OR TERMINATING THE EMPLOYMENT OF THAT PERSON.
2. FOR THE SECOND OCCURRENCE, THE SCHOOL SHALL SUSPEND THE PERSON, AT A MINIMUM, FOR TWO WEEKS OF EMPLOYMENT, AND THE PERSON SHALL NOT RECEIVE ANY COMPENSATION FOR THE DURATION OF THE SUSPENSION. THIS PARAGRAPH DOES NOT PROHIBIT A SCHOOL AFTER THE SECOND OCCURRENCE FROM SUSPENDING THE PERSON FOR A LONGER DURATION OR TERMINATING THE EMPLOYMENT OF THAT PERSON.
3. FOR THE THIRD OCCURRENCE, THE SCHOOL SHALL TERMINATE THE EMPLOYMENT OF THE PERSON. THIS PARAGRAPH DOES NOT PROHIBIT A SCHOOL AFTER THE FIRST OR SECOND OCCURRENCE FROM TERMINATING THE EMPLOYMENT OF THAT PERSON.
B. FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS SECTION, “PUBLIC SCHOOL” MEANS A PUBLIC PRESCHOOL PROGRAM, A PUBLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, A PUBLIC JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL, A PUBLIC MIDDLE SCHOOL, A PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL, A PUBLIC VOCATIONAL EDUCATION PROGRAM, A PUBLIC COMMUNITY COLLEGE OR A PUBLIC UNIVERSITY IN THIS STATE.
Note that in the bill as written the “speech or conduct” is not limited to the classroom. By current FCC standards, I believe this means that, were I a professor in Arizona and this bill were to pass, I could say “shit” after 10 pm at night, but never say “fuck.” I won’t even explore the conduct side of things.
Paging George Carlin.
The Edge of the American West 
8 comments
February 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Greg
Ah, I think Arizona is FUBAR, anyway. And now the little snowflakes will never know what that means.
February 18, 2012 at 6:36 pm
chris
Failure to specify where the conduct has to occur to be included in the statute is a really weird omission, but I think (or is that hope?) courts would most likely apply the “don’t interpret it as meaning something absurd” rule and interpret it to only cover conduct that occurs on the job/on school property. (Not limited to the classroom itself — there’s not necessarily any reason teachers should be permitted to cuss in the hallways — although they’d need to make an exception for appropriate activities conducted in bathrooms that couldn’t legally be broadcast on TV.)
February 18, 2012 at 7:31 pm
Main Street Muse
When I first read this, I thought (as the parent of elementary school children) – makes sense! Do not want teachers to be spouting the F-word in the classroom….
Then I realized that teachers who use the F-word ANYWHERE before 10pm can get fired. WTH are those Arizona lawmakers thinking?! You’d think the lawyers crafting the bill would be a bit more specific, but (again!) WTH!!!! or better yet (as someone who does not live in AZ) WTF!!!!
February 18, 2012 at 8:45 pm
Donald R. Shaffer
Welcome to the surreal world of the Tea Party dominated Arizona legislature. If you think this bill is crazy, an even crazier bill has been introduced for the second time (it was first introduced at last year’s session) that would allow Arizona to nullify federal laws. Obviously, its sponsor does not seem to be aware the question of the constitutionality of nullification was settled by the Civil War at the cost of 620,000 lives. Don’t believe me, check out: http://tinyurl.com/8xjb994.
February 18, 2012 at 10:00 pm
MCO
So… my course on the profane couldn’t be taught at ASU? Man, I don’t see how this could be enforced in a university setting…
February 19, 2012 at 11:04 am
j_808
Doubt anyone is surprised. Arizona is a state where you get pulled over for “driving while brown.” Joe Arpaio has been getting away with high handed profiling for years – not to mention bizarro activities such as requiring inmates to dress in pink jailhouse garb. The deputy sheriff of Maricopa County, Russell Pearce, wears stars-and-stripes shirts and calls illegals “invaders.” Arizona is falling prey to Tea Party inspired xenophobia – the type of retarded thinking that makes anything possible. So yeah the above doesn’t surprise and I’m sure there’ll be lots more nutball offerings to follow.
Joe Arpaio strip cartoon at – http://www.drivebyplanet.com/2010/04/little-straight-talk_28.html
February 19, 2012 at 12:38 pm
Vance Maverick
MSM, I don’t exactly want teachers to be saying “fuck” in the classroom. Nor do I want one such misstep to be a firing offense. There are shades of administrative guidance, I hope, somewhere between “must” and “must not”.
Greg, you remind me of an incident from my middle-school days. My family spent a year abroad, and one of my teachers was curious about American culture. He asked me what FUBAR stood for, and I didn’t know — partly a simewhat incredible innocence, partly plain ignorance. I asked my father (who served in the Navy, just a bit too late to see action in the Pacific), and he told me, “Fouled up beyond all recognition.” I passed it on to Herr Bachmann, our mutual innocence and ignorance preserved.
February 19, 2012 at 1:21 pm
TF Smith
Entertaining that one of the co-sponsors is Sen. Shooter…