Overheard at the swim meet today.

Kid 1: “When Matt Damon is elected president, the country’s going communist. Seriously, wait and see.”

[Huh? What is this kid talking about? Only later did I find this. Kids these days are precocious, I guess.]

Kid 2: “Dude, what are you talking about?”

[Let’s hear it for Kid 2, the voice of reason!]

Kid 2: “Matt Damon isn’t running for president.”

[Right! But that’s not the only problem with what Kid 1 is saying, is it?]

Kid 1: “No, seriously, he’s going to turn this into a communist country.”

[At this point I turned around, curious to see how old these kids were: about fifteen or sixteen, I’m pretty sure.]

Kid 3: “Dude, you’re nuts.”

[Let’s hear it for Kid 3, the voice of reason!]

Kid 3: “The Constitution says that the United States can’t be a communist country.”

[Hmm, maybe the 1st Amendment? If you squint a bit?]

Kid 3: “And anyway, the army won’t let him get away with it. They’ll totally take him out.”

[At this point it required all my will power to keep from turning around again and shouting at this kid, who was wearing his swimsuit, a faded Hawaiian Tropic towel, and Crocs, “Where in the Constitution do you get that, smart guy? If President Damon wants to overhaul the nation’s economic system and he has the support of Congress, you think the Army will stop him? I think not! President Damon is the commander in chief of the armed forces, you nitwit!” But I held my peace. And then it was time for my older boy to swim his event, so off we went. Probably I should stay away from swimming pools at this time of year.]