On this day in 1940, an actual Communist leader, Leon Trotsky, was stabbed in the head with an ice pick by Ramón Mercader, who was himself not only an actual Communist, but an agent of Stalin, who awarded Mercader’s mother an Order of Lenin for her part in the plot. Upon his release from prison in 1960, Mercader moved to an actual Communist country, Cuba, and then to another, the Soviet Union, whereupon his arrival he was awarded a Hero of the Soviet medal from the head of the KGB, Alexander Shelepin.
On this day in 1944, an actual Communist country, the Soviet Union, launched an offensive against a real Nazi country, Hitler’s Germany, over the fate of Romania, which would end the day either a real Nazi or actual Communist coutry, but not both, because real Nazism and actual Communism are such different beasts that Hitler’s Germany went to war against Stalin’s Soviet Union over whose distinct sytem of oppression the Romanian people will be compelled to live under. The actual Communists won the day, routing the real Nazis and installing an actual Communist government that would survive until 1989.
On this day in 1991, actual Communist tanks pulled in front of the actual Communist parliament building, the White House, in preparation for Operation Grom, a KGB-orchestrated coup against an actual Communist government led by Mikhail Gorbachev. Within two days, Gorbachev would resign his position as General Secretary of the the actual Communist Party of the Soviet Union, and by Christmas of that year, the hammer and sickle—the actual Communist flag of the Soviet Union—would be lowered from the Kremlin for the last time.
For the latest breaking news about mock communists and ersatz Nazis, keep it turned to FOXNews throughout the day.
(x-posted.)
The Edge of the American West 
17 comments
August 20, 2009 at 10:50 am
kevin
I still say Trotsky Icepick is the greatest band name of all time.
August 20, 2009 at 11:06 am
Vance
Hmm, I’m grumpy enough today to feel that the frame of mind in which “Trotsky Icepick” is a great band name and Lenin buttons are wry souvenirs is a bit too much like the frame of mind in which universal health care is like Nazism. There are some serious no-fooling distinctions to be drawn here.
The biography I used as my source on Tina Modotti spent some time trying to work out whether she and her companion Vidali were actually involved in the plot to murder Trotsky. The verdict, if I remember right, was that he might have been.
August 20, 2009 at 11:53 am
Scarn
But would “Lenin Button” as a band name be of the same mindset?
August 20, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Rob_in_Hawaii
Trotsky was actually dispatched with a short-handled ice axe, a tool used by ice climbers for hacking their way up a glacier face — or by ice delivery men to break up or move around blocks of ice. Google “Trotsky ice axe” for more than you’d ever want to know on the subject.
But that in no way distracts from the awesomeness of the band name. “Trotsky Ice Axe” rocks!
August 20, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Rob_in_Hawaii
Uh, “detracts” not “distracts.” I was obviously distracted by “Trotsky Ice Axe” wailing away on the iPod.
August 20, 2009 at 12:52 pm
SEK
Damn it, now I’m tempted to edit “axe” in for “pick,” but then kevin’s suggestion and Vance’s grumpy response would make no sense. FML. (Just kidding.)
That said, I hope your grumpiness doesn’t include this post, Vance, as it’s making the same point that’s causing your grumpiness. There are actual, historical Communists and Nazis, who went to war and killed each other and who have absolutely nothing in common with, say, the current POTUS.
August 20, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Vance
No, Scott, we’re on the same side — remembering that there were real totalitarian systems that were not just revolutionary chic or lazy rhetors’ shtick.
August 20, 2009 at 1:46 pm
kevin
Hmm, I’m grumpy enough today to feel that the frame of mind in which “Trotsky Icepick” is a great band name and Lenin buttons are wry souvenirs is a bit too much like the frame of mind in which universal health care is like Nazism.
And I’m grumpy enough to feel that the frame of mind in which one would compare one person’s fondness for an indie rock band name to other people’s vulgar attempts to lump health care reform in with the Final Solution is just a tad bit overwrought.
To quote the philosopher Sgt. Hulka: “Lighten up, Francis.”
August 20, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Matt L.
SEK, Thanks for the hat tip to Eastern and Central European history. Yes, indeed there were real Communists and actual Nazis who were locked in an ideological and physical struggle to the death. This killed and directly harmed millions of people. Millions more were forced to live under real existing socialism for decades. Its useful to remind people that this bears no resemblance to the historical or lived experience of the grumpy, gun-toting, right-wing anglos showing up on TV.
August 20, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Charlieford
If you write snarky posts that make subtle distinctions between actual Communism and real Nazism, on the one hand, and ersatz varieties, on the other, THE TERRORISTS WIN.
August 20, 2009 at 3:03 pm
PorJ
The Stranglers on Trotsky:
What a lyric! Bizarre how catchy the tune is, too. Does Trotsky show up anywhere else in a rock and/or punk song?
August 20, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Ben Alpers
A great lyric, PorJ, but the Stranglers’ version of the icepick made Trotsky’s ears burn, not bleed.
There’s a song by the British indie pop band Tales of Jenny called Trotsky of Our Time.
August 20, 2009 at 4:33 pm
bitchphd
My hat’s off to you, SEK. This is a really funny post.
August 20, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Michael
Interesting that you leave out the most important actual fact: on this day in 1938, Hitler introduced the “public option” to Czechoslovakia.
August 20, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Walt
I thought, “who’s this Michael that’s trolling the comment section?” And I realized it’s Bérubé. But then I thought: how do we know that Bérubé hasn’t been trolling us all these years? We just thought they were jokes.
August 21, 2009 at 6:23 am
Ben Alpers
I used to be a postmodernist, but ever since Bérubé made that crack about Czechoslovakia and the public option I’ve been upset about the Sokol Hoax.
August 21, 2009 at 10:07 am
Julia duMais
It takes a really well-trained historical eye to be able to pick up on the subtle differences between Real Nazis and the Democratic Party. My hat is off to you!