From the live-blogging of the Oscars at Big Hollywood, I present the themes of the evening:
by Mike Long
Ready to deliver careless ridicule and remarks I will later regret…
That’s a Lot of Middle-Aged Chick Skin
by Doug TenNapel
If you’re in your early 50s and you’ve breast-fed your 1.5 children you adopted from Chinafrica, please wear more clothes. I thought for a second this was the SAG awards.
by Bill Willingham
No, Stage Right, I predict same sex marriage won’t be mentioned once. It’s called “freedom of marriage” now. Managing the language is the be all and end all of newspeak.
Think these social conservatives won’t spend the entirety of the evening saying embarrassing things about breasts and gay marriage? Think otherwise:
by Mike Long
If Kate Winslet wins for The Reader, will there be separate awards for each of her breasts? Cos that’s pretty much what that picture was about . . .
by Mike Long
My lesson learned about live blogging: There’s the stuff you WANT to say . . . and the stuff you think you better not say . . .
by Tim Slagle
BEST ACTRESS is basically a topless contest between Kate Winslet and Marisa Tomei[.]
by Jude
Meryl Streep’s daughter is making me re-think my politics.
by Sal Weiss
IS THERE A BETTER NAME FOR THE GUY HOSTING THE GAYEST EVENT IN THE WORLD THAN JACKMAN?
by Andrew Leigh
Kate Winslet ranges all the way from partial to full frontal nudity.
by Rodney Lee Conover
Marissa Tomei’s bra just won for Best Supporting
by Dallas Jenkins
Anyone notice the double entendre from the script for “Milk?” “Harvey lifts the bullhorn to his lips.” Ahem.
Meh, the Milk speech. “One day you’ll have equal rights?” You DO have equal rights!!! There is nothing that straight people can do that you can’t do, and vice versa. Straight people aren’t allowed to marry members of the same sex either.
by Tom Shillue
where did [Sarah Jessica Parker] get those???
by Stage Right
I think “The Duchess” was a working title for “Milk.”
by Ben Shapiro
The ugliest woman ever to become a Hollywood star. Including Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie.
by Tim Slagle
Only three nominees for best makeup?
What about the guy who made Meryl Streep look like a woman?
by Rodney Lee Conover
Sarah Jessica Parker just won Best in Show.
by Robert J. Avrech
And [I want to see] Marisa Tomei—topless!
by James Hudnall
Methinks future Oscar romance montages will be filled with gay images from now on.
by J.R. Head
Didn’t they have anything more form-fitting for Miss Beale?
Milk kiss. Gross!
by Doug TenNapel
My children and I have now seen more men kissing tonight than married heterosexual couples. That’s kind of every night on TV, though.
by Stage Right
But, it’s 6:45 and my 9 year old and 7 year old girls are watching this with me and they just saw two men kissing on the lips.
Why do I have to deal with this?
by Doug TenNapel
Can we please have an Oscar show that is just three hours of men kissing?
by Rodney Lee Conover
Meryl Streep is definitely aging forward.
by John Nolte
Doug, I know you wrote this a few hour hours ago when the show started . . .
Let’s face it, the BEST ACTRESS is basically a topless contest between Kate Winslet and Marisa Tomei.
. . . but I was just curious about the context. Are you saying that like it’s a bad thing?
by Mike Long
what’s with the stupid you-go-girl speeches, actress to actress? this is like some sort of support group where every chick ends up in sync with each other’s period . . .
by Stage Right
Oh Boy . . . here comes Prop 8 the musical all over again.
I decided not to include all the entries which consisted of variations of the title of this link—because the daughter of the Republican’s most recent candidate for President deserves better than the company her father panders to. (Or not.) But what really worries me about this all is that it might give lie to the idea that Kathryn Jean Lopez doesn’t deserve the title of “editor.” Because if this is what they write off-the-cuff . . .
The Edge of the American West 
20 comments
February 23, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Sybil Vane
I feel sad now.
February 23, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Matt McKeon
What a crew of fucking assholes.
February 23, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Sir Charles
They are sad, stupid, little people.
What a freakin “moran” fest.
February 23, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Colin
The kissing part seems like a win all around.
February 23, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Michael Elliott
For some reason, my response to this comes from the same emotional place as my response to the Congressional Republicans and that crazy CNBC stockbroker who ranted about the mortgage bailout. It’s like the far right has just decided that nothing has changed, and they aren’t going to care if they become increasingly disconnected from where the rest of the country is. In a way, I am happy about this kind of behavior, because it means that they are on a path to make themselves entirely marginal. I mean, can you really take the House Republican Caucus seriously after all of that grandstanding — as though conservative policies had nothing to do with the shitstorm we are in? Can you really take seriously a blogger who has chosen to watch the Oscars but who is offended by two men kissing? On the other hand, like a true sappy liberal, I want to believe that we all have better selves that are, finally, capable of some humility and sympathy. So much for that.
February 23, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Ahistoricality
For a minute I thought you were doing the “shorter” thing, but a few spot checks (I don’t have the stomach for more) reveals that you are, in fact, quoting them. Fully and accurately.
I’m flabbergasted.
I’ve met fifth graders with more class (and better jokes).
February 23, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Amos Anan
Sorry I did laugh at a few, even with the cruelty. But then the line about “Jackman” and “the gayest event” reminded me of a group of perverts and pedophiles of varied sexual persuasions and perversions that’s lead by someone named BOEHNER. They could easily put on a floor show tap dancing in diapers and probably have.
February 24, 2009 at 2:59 am
rea
Somehow they don’t seem to have grasped a basic point of this internet thing, which is that you’re not having a private conversation with a small group of like-minded friends–the whole world, including your mother, gets to see your boorish comments.
February 24, 2009 at 3:12 am
Michael Turner
Yeah, they seem to think the internet is conservative talk radio. where it’s like you’re having a private conversation with a small group of like-minded friends–and the whole world, including your mother, gets to hear your boorish comments.
February 24, 2009 at 4:13 am
CharleyCarp
They tell their mothers that it’s just entertainment. You know, the guys who bite the heads off live chickens have mothers too. At least no chickens were harmed in the production of this sorry spectacle.
February 24, 2009 at 6:50 am
Adam Roberts
I’ve been reading a certain amount of the theory of Laughter (with a view to teaching a course about it next year). It occurs to me that one problem with this notoriously problematic field is that any theory needs to account for Oscar Wilde, Jacques Tati and people saying ‘breasts!’ and ‘men kissing!’ and guffawing like baboons.
February 24, 2009 at 8:18 am
Michael Bérubé
I’m still not seeing why these people aren’t more successful artists and entertainers. I have to think the gay breasted Hollywood mafiosi are blacklisting them.
February 24, 2009 at 8:22 am
I just don’t get it… « Blurred Productions
[…] (in a round about way, via) […]
February 24, 2009 at 12:31 pm
SEK
I’m still not seeing why these people aren’t more successful artists and entertainers.
They’re too busy serving as the backbone of the moral majority, obviously.
I wrote this post without comment because, honestly, I’m not sure what to say. The comments above about them not realizing that the world can read what they’ve written pretty much nails it, though. I’m sure they’ll be arguing about the sexualization of their children next week, bemoaning about sex ed. or something without a wink of cognitive dissonance.
February 24, 2009 at 12:32 pm
SEK
Why does the site keep doing that?
February 24, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Ahistoricality
There appears to be some flaw in the coding of trackback comments: a missing divider of some sort. It’s been quite consistent for a while now.
February 24, 2009 at 3:14 pm
washerdreyer
The most (ok, only) interesting aspect of Big Hollywood for me is Bill Willingham’s involvement, because he writes,a href=”http://www.amazon.com/Fables-Vol-1-Legends-Exile/dp/1563899426/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235517147&sr=8-1″> a great comic book. And I always knew he was a conservative, and didn’t care, because he wrote comic books, not punditry. But now that I’m reading his political commentary, it’s starting to complicate the way I read his comic books, esp. the gender relations therein.
February 24, 2009 at 3:49 pm
eric
some flaw in the coding of trackback comments: a missing divider of some sort.
This just started. I’ve no idea what’s going on. And we have very little control over the code, inasmuch as we’re on the free wordpress.com. But it’s annoying, isn’t it?
February 24, 2009 at 4:50 pm
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[…] By all means, let them use their own rope. From the live-blogging of the Oscars at Big Hollywood, I present the themes of the evening: […] […]
February 25, 2009 at 5:06 am
rhulcreativewriters
This just started.
It’s been doing it for ages and ages on my machine. Maybe that’s a British computing thing.