This weekend witnessed the nationwide release of An American Carol, the new comedy by noted comedic genius, David Zucker.*  The folks at The National Review could hardly contain themselves.  Kathleen Parker wrote “it’s funny—if you like that sort of thing.”  Someone who wrote to Kathryn Jean Lopez “wasn’t disappointed.”

Given how fond conservatives are of extrapolating what Real Americans feel from the box office receipts of recent anti-war films, I wonder what they’ll make of An American Carol‘s success.  Here are the films Real Americans voted down with their wallets:

In the Valley of Elah (2007) – $6.8 million.
Redacted (2007) – $.06 million.
The Kingdom (2007) – $47.4 million.
Rendition (2007) – $9.7 million.
Lions for Lambs (2007) – $15 million.
Home of the Brave (2006) – $.04 million.

Bombs, all of them—unlike An American Carol, which raked in an impressive $3.4 million this weekend.  That’s way more than the $4.5 million the film Stop-Loss scored in its opening weekend, a dismal return which had conservatives saying:

People don’t go to theaters to sit through two hours of diatribes and propaganda on their leisure time. They’re not going to spend money on it. Now we have the proof.

People are giving Hollywood pretty clear message on these message films: Do not want. We told them so.

You tell ’em!  People don’t go to theaters to sit through two hours of diatribes and propaganda!  Except for this fellow, who thought:

That was the best scene in the film and it was way too short.  They missed a huge opportunity to educate there.

What scene would that be?  Only the funniest in the entire film:

Jon Voight at St. Paul’s Chapel in New York City, in the shadow of where the World Trade Center once stood, as George Washington, in a most moving scene, that will have you begging Voight to do a miniseries playing our nation’s first president.

That’s Kathryn Jean Lopez again, and she knows from funny.  This film was so funny, Lopez is

persuaded that names like David Zucker, Steve McEveety, Myrna Sokoloff, Jon Voight, Kelsey Grammar, Robert Davi, and An American Carol star Kevin Farley will one day be recognized as revolutionaries.

Or would have been, were it not for the liberal conspiracy:

I’d love to see American Carol if THE DAMN THEATERS WHERE I LIVE WOULD PLAY THEM.

There is suppression going on . . . The theatre squashed it in the tiniest room and didn’t have many times for it.

Conspiracy!

The blatant attempt to crush the spirit of the GOP is palpable. I see it everywhere, even in the trailers that were chosen to play before the feature.

Conspiracy!

[A] moviegoer who read in the paper that AAC was playing at a Burbank theater. Upon arriving at the theater, there was no movie poster and no title on the marquee. They had to ask if it was playing. They were told it was. There was a sound problem and everyone asked for their money back. Sounds fishy to me. I wouldn’t be surprised if a bit of sabotage is going on.

Con—what?

There’s no irony—and no mystery––in immigrants being very patriotic (and more patriotic and more openly grateful to their country than ‘native-born Americans’).  You appreciate that which you never felt entitled to.

Read some of what Jack London wrote: his English (which he taught himself) was better than most Americans, and he made the most of his opportunity to live and write here.

I don’t know where to—I mean, that last comment is a trenchant indication of the cultural literacy of the people out to defend our culture from radical socialist revolutionaries like Jack London Barack Obama.


*Frank Gaffney noted that Zucker’s “other credits include Airplane!, The Naked Gun, Scary Movie 3, and assorted sequels.”  When I saw the awful Scary Movie 4, all I could think was how much better the original—Scary Movie 3—was.