Of an apparent suicide, according to Ed Champion. Los Angeles Times confirms.
CR’s reaction nails mine. Wallace was a brilliant, unpredictable author whose next book always could’ve been—what I mean to say, if Philip Roth dies, I’ll be upset, but it wouldn’t tie my stomach in knots. Roth’s entered the late-James stage of his career—his works refine and distill and what readers expect from them. With Wallace, there was still potential—his next book could’ve been another Infinite Jest, his next story could’ve been utterly unlike Oblivion, his next article could’ve done to McCain what Wallace’d done to lobsters. In short, his unwritten work could’ve been differently brilliant.
Thoughts on suicide from a man who’s already committed it, in Oblivion‘s “Good Old Neon”:
I simply said, without going into anything like the level of detail I’ve given you (because my purpose in the letter was of course very different), that I was killing myself because I was an essentially fraudulent person who seemed to lack either the character or the firepower to find a way to stop even after I’d realized my fraudulence and the terrible toll it exacted . . . I also inserted that there was also a good possibility that, when all was said and done, I was nothing but another fact-track yuppie who couldn’t love, and that I found the banality of this unendurable, largely because I was evidently so hollow and insecure that I had a pathological need to see myself as somehow exceptional or outstanding at all times. Without going into much explanation or argument, I also told Fern that if her initial reaction to these reasons for my killing myself was to think I was being much, much too hard on myself, then she should know that I was already aware that that was the most likely reaction my note would produce in her, and had probably deliberately constructed the note to at least in part prompt just that reaction, just the way my whole life I’d often said and done things designed to prompt certain people to believe that I was a genuinely outstanding person whose personal standards were so high that he was far too hard on himself, which in turn made me appear attractively modest and unsmug, and was a big reason for my popularity with so many people in all different avenues of my life . . .” (173)
Of this story, Dan Green wrote:
At its core, “Good Old Neon” is indeed a story about a story, although we don’t know that until its conclusion. We do then discover, however, that “Good Old Neon” has been an impersonation by “David Wallace” of one of the latter’s high school classmates who died in a “fiery single-car accident he’d read about in 1991,” an attempt by the fictionalized author of Oblivion to “imagine what all must have happened to lead up to” that crash, why someone “David Wallace had back then imagined as happy and unreflective and wholly unhaunted by voices telling him that there was something deeply wrong with him that wasn’t wrong with anybody else and that he had to spend all his time and energy trying to figure out what to do and say in order to impersonate an even marginally normal or acceptable U.S. male” would drive into a bridge abutment.
It is a wholly convincing impersonation, and emotionally charged in a way we perhaps don’t expect from David Foster Wallace. And it is precisely in the act of “baring the device”—the story self-reflexively disclosing that it is indeed a story—that “Good Old Neon” produces its greatest emotional effect. For in addition to the genuine human feeling for the distress of its imagined protagonist the story encourages in us, even more compelling is the revelation that it was some such feeling on its author’s part that led “David Wallace” to write the story in the first place.
48 comments
September 13, 2008 at 5:18 pm
SomeCallMeTim
Jeebus. I’m astonished. He seemed–to the extent one can tell anything from interviews–like someone who had made it past the darkest parts of his life, and considered himself much the better for it.
September 13, 2008 at 5:34 pm
bitchphd
Oh, no.
September 13, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Brodysattva
God, what a disaster. I love Infinite Jest as much as any other novel ever written — I reread bits of it constantly. I always thought, or at least hoped, that as good as his work had been so far, we hadn’t yet seen the greatest Wallace had to offer. This is incredibly sad.
September 13, 2008 at 5:59 pm
eric
Such a shame.
September 13, 2008 at 5:59 pm
adswithoutproducts
Yeah, christ… Exactly Scott…
Not up for debate on this at all right now, but honestly, bottom of my heart, there’s not really anyone currently working in the US that to my mind had the potential really to do one right. That is, there’s no one now, currently living. DFW was the only one, and now he’s gone and done.
September 13, 2008 at 6:02 pm
bitchphd
Why couldn’t it have been Updike or Mailer? Dammit.
September 13, 2008 at 6:08 pm
ari
What eric said.
September 13, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Colin
Yup. A real blow.
September 13, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Josh Carrollhach
God, this is troubling. Infinite Jest is one of those books that has comforted me in times of deepest despair. I can deal with Brautigan, Hemingway… but this hits hard.
Books that capture the insouciance and absurdity of carrying on despite the shitty conditions are rare enough. Vonnegut said hat he wrote Breakfast of Champions to avoid killing himself, and I sometimes got that feeling from Wallace’s work. It’s a spike in the heart, heavy in my chest.
September 13, 2008 at 8:06 pm
SEK
Maybe tomorrow I’ll tell you about a friend of mine in AA. Lives in Chicago. Convinced his sponsor to read Infinite Jest, who then convinced his sponsor to do the same. You see where this is going—a group of 100 or so urban alcoholics devoting half a year to puzzling through Wallace’s novel.
September 13, 2008 at 8:23 pm
urbino
I’ve never been a fan, so, as a reader, I can’t say his death will affect me much.
But all suicides affect me. Much.
September 13, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Ben Alpers
Infinite Jest is one of those books that I’ve always planned to get to but never have. But I loved DFW’s non-fiction (which I’ve read a lot of) as well as the short fiction of his I’ve read.
I share all the feelings expressed here. Genuinely shocked as well as deeply saddened.
September 13, 2008 at 8:40 pm
JD
His work really touched me. Hal, Gately, Madame psychosis the PGOAT, Mario, Incarnations of burned children, all of the suffering and beauty and humor he found amazing words for. This is Loss.
September 13, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Colin
Like Ben I could never get to _IJ_, but the shorter stuff was both funny and affecting. Thanks SEK for the Dan Green review, because it helps bring out something about the work — that the recursiveness and self-consciousness also, strangely, produced emotion and a kind of understanding.
September 13, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Jul
What a loss for literary America. His writing touched me deeply.
And I loved his nonfiction commentary on America.
RIP, may you be in a better place
September 14, 2008 at 2:41 am
Martin G.
This is incredibly sad. Just yesterday, I was reading an interview with him. I feel like the guy I was talking to yesterday died during the night.
September 14, 2008 at 3:37 am
Adam Roberts
This is sad; but that TOP BLOGS spam appearing in the middle of all these expressions of grief is very … Foster Wallace.
September 14, 2008 at 5:30 am
David Foster Wallace död | Errata
[…] Mycket mycket sorgligt. […]
September 14, 2008 at 6:27 am
Sad News Today | READIN
[…] SEK has more at The Edge of the American West. […]
September 14, 2008 at 7:49 am
politicalfootball
Via A White Bear at Unfogged, here’s a Charlie Rose interview with Wallace.
September 14, 2008 at 7:55 am
Josh Carrollhach
Time Magazine had an interesting article on suicide. Written in 1959, the article struggles with the stigma of self-murder. This before Hemingway’s last use of his father’s shotgun.
In Iowa City, where I now live, a professor recently accused of soliciting sex in exchange for better grades blew his head off in a city park. The university came under fire for lowering the flag in his honor. It’s a far cry from being buried at a crossroads with a steak through his heart. Is this becoming a more socially acceptable way of departing the Cruel World?
September 14, 2008 at 9:14 am
SEK
This is sad; but that TOP BLOGS spam appearing in the middle of all these expressions of grief is very … Foster Wallace.
It may be, but I’m still deleting it. I can’t do anything about the spam blogs republishing my post, but comments I can delete with relish.
September 14, 2008 at 9:16 am
Antonio Pomet
Leo en un periódico que él se sentía cada vez más triste a medida que las cosas le iban mejor. Quizá su cerebro funcionara demasiado bien. Y eso, en este mundo, tiene un precio. Alguien que escribe una carta de ruptura a su novia de 70 páginas, o 88 puntos explicándole por qué no quiere una fiesta de cumpleaños, es alguien que encuentra continuas rupturas de sentido entre sí mismo y lo que le rodea. Así es que no es tan raro.
Lo que sí me ha parecido raro es que me haya afectado tanto. No me lo esperaba.
Voy a releer Algo supuestamente divertido para animarme. Aunque quizá no lo consiga. Quizá acabe viendo en esa brillante historia para Harper un pequeño resumen de este final trágico. Demasiado fuera de lugar para que lo destile siempre la sonrisa. Al principio se consigue. Pero algo se enquista.
Te voy a echar mucho de menos.
September 14, 2008 at 11:14 am
Beth (Harbaugh) Wittenbach
I was one of the lucky students who had DFW as a professor in the late 90’s at Illinois State University. He had such an intense passion for words, for meaning, for discussion that I will never forget him. He will always be one of my most memorable teachers, and I’m incredibly sad that others won’t get that opportunity.
September 14, 2008 at 11:27 am
Hemlock
I have an uncle who committed suicide. I believe he did so for reasons similar to those above, although I’m not quite sure he constructed himself as “intelligent” (…él se sentía cada vez más triste a medida que las cosas le iban mejor. Quizá su cerebro funcionara demasiado bien. Y eso, en este mundo, tiene un precio). I have emotional outbursts like everyone else, but I cannot even begin to imagine someone contemplating suicide…perhaps suicide as a concept, but not suicide as an actuality. If “brilliance” correlates with/facilitates affective behavior (proceed with self-referential caution), then perhaps I’ll never come close to Wallace’s comprehension of human social bonds and cultural forms. Perhaps, then, I don’t really want to.
September 14, 2008 at 11:56 am
bitchphd
I cannot even begin to imagine someone contemplating suicide
It’s not an emotional outburst; on the contrary. It’s more like a reasonable conclusion to unremitting emotional pain, misery, or just an inescapable lack of purpose or meaning, which is itself pretty painful. It’s a decision that I think one reaches slowly, rather than all of a sudden.
September 14, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Hemlock
“Someone…” perhaps I should take my own advice, and proceed with self-referential caution, rather than get mired in my own hypocrisy.
September 14, 2008 at 2:52 pm
JPool
“Is this becoming a more socially acceptable way of departing the Cruel World?”
Depends on what you mean and depends on the circumstance. I would say the self-euthanasia is becoming more accepted, and there’s less talk in public of people who commit suicide as wretched sinners who have consigned themselves to hell, but I don’t think that makes it socially acceptable.
At my brother’s funeral the Unitarian minister felt the need to say (not once but twice) that while we could not condone my brother’s actions in taking his life. I still don’t know what that was supposed to mean; how the pastor imagined that condemning suicide helps us to prevent it.
At the same time I would argue that, generally speaking, it seems like a reasonable solution rather than being one. I realize that I’m on thin ice here, writing as someone whose depressive episodes are relatively mild and passing rather than frequent and agonizing, but the nature of depression as a disease makes it awfully difficult to come to reasonable conclusions.* It can prevent the sufferer from being able to remember times when they didn’t hurt like this and see the possibility of that hurt ending again.
I loved DWF’s essays and mourn his loss.
*B, I know that you were using “reasonable conclusion” in a different sense, and I think I understand what you meant. I just feel at times like this that what I said needs saying.
September 14, 2008 at 3:50 pm
DFW (1962 - ∞) : Mark Sussman
[…] Old Neon,” one of his best pieces of writing and, fuck it, probably my favorite short story. Scott Eric Kaufman went there too, and along with the ” I couldn’t finish Infinite Jest but still that guy could […]
September 14, 2008 at 5:58 pm
bitchphd
I think that we are merely getting to the point where we better understand, to some extent, that serious depression really *is* agonizing, and that suicide is an attempt to end pain, rather than a Terrible Sin or a Cowardly Betrayal or a Selfish Choice.
I’m hesitant about deciding whether or not suicide is really a “reasonable” decision for a given individual or not. Clearly on one level it isn’t purely rational (then again, what is). But the flip side of “the depression really will lift” is the fact that there are people who have learned through hard experience that it will, but it will also inevitably return again. That and the problem of asking someone to endure the unendurable b/c someday it won’t be unendurable anymore.
(I say this both b/c I’ve been there and b/c I’m close to someone who I suspect will, someday, kill himself.)
September 14, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Vance
I cannot even begin to imagine someone contemplating suicide
Lucky man.
And while I’m sure Dr. B’s take (suicide as a rational response to real if “irrational” suffering) is apt for many, I think for others the act is a kind of delusion in the decision-making process, a wrong action that presents itself forcefully and inevitably to the doer, something the doer would regret from another point of view, if there were ever an opportunity to achieve another point of view.
September 14, 2008 at 7:55 pm
ari
if there were ever an opportunity to achieve another point of view
Right. This is the thing that many people who haven’t either directly or indirectly coped with deep depression often miss: it’s a totalizing state of being; it clouds out all else, including reason; and it sometimes feels permanent. And so, otherwise good-hearted, caring people sometimes take their own lives, often destroying the lives of those they leave behind. Or so it seems to me based on rather limited data.
That said, depression and suicide are as idiosyncratic as anything else about people. Universalizing, then, as I’ve done above, doesn’t really work.
September 14, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Unspokenwordz
God Bless his family!!!!!
September 14, 2008 at 9:15 pm
JPool
I really appreciate what bitch, Vance and ari have written here. Public events like this lift up personal tragedies and rub old wounds raw again.
B, I do appreciate, as best I can, the flip side that you point out. A close family friend, who has himself struggled with depression, pointed out that coping with it can be like endlessly treading water. Even when your head’s above water, the temptation can always be there to simply stop struggling. That was certainly how my brother explained his decision. On the other hand, while he presented himself as very rational, the letters he left, taken together, present a more subtly obsessional set of thoughts.
As Vance and ari note, depression and suicide vary tremendously. I’ve known people where suicide seemed to be a sudden delusional compulsion, and other where it seemed to be a rageful lashing out as much as a response to their own pain.
We can never really know how it is for someone else. That, as they say, is the problem with the world.
September 14, 2008 at 10:06 pm
urbino
I try not to get involved in arguments about the rationality or justifiability of suicide, because there is no “winning” argument. I’ve heard loved ones make excellent cases for it being deeply selfish. OTOH, I’ve known periods that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and upon learning that someone took suicide as the way out of something similar, I can only say, “Yeah, it was probably for the best.”
September 14, 2008 at 10:41 pm
purplestar8025
i was shocked. i read several articles about him.. and can’t believe that he hanged his self..
September 15, 2008 at 7:52 am
Cantharellus
There but for the grace of God go I.
September 15, 2008 at 8:26 am
fieldus » Blog Archive » David Foster Wallace RIP
[…] David Foster Wallace Dead « The Edge of the American West Thoughts on suicide from a man who’s already committed it, in Oblivion’s “Good Old Neon”: […]
September 15, 2008 at 9:56 am
In Which We Ask You To Lead Us There « This Recording
[…] The Edge of the America West eulogy […]
September 15, 2008 at 11:29 am
Adam
Last Friday, I picked up Oblivion for the first time, opened it at random to “Good Old Neon,” read the story, and put the book down — and later I found that while I’d been reading, DFW had killed himself.
I don’t think I’ve really processed it yet.
September 16, 2008 at 10:50 am
dee nolo
An overrated writer. But still a loss to those who knew and loved him.
September 16, 2008 at 11:09 am
ari
What didn’t you like about his writing, dee?
September 16, 2008 at 4:56 pm
olh
Interesting to look back at DFW on Charlie Rose – especially at 31 minutes in when he seems to be wondering about the direction of his future… http://www.charlierose.com/guests/david-wallace
September 17, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Shaun Mason
A very sad day for American letters.
October 13, 2008 at 2:16 pm
DAVID FOSTER WALLACE
[…] The Edge of the American West […]
October 13, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Vance
Uh David, don’t you have something better to do?
October 13, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Ben Alpers
Uh David, don’t you have something better to do?
Do you have in mind a supposedly fun thing that he’ll never do again?
October 31, 2008 at 5:12 pm
David J
Had heard about the man & his writing. Gearing up to seek out IJ after reading some of his shorter pieces. Strangely enough, around the time of DFW’s suicide I discovered a great, groundbreaking Spanish poet by the name of Pedro Casariego who also took his own life– a link, in case of further interest:
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=13620637