On this day in 1812, the United States declared war on Great Britain, beginning this nation’s least interesting military conflict. And that’s all I have to say about that.

* No offense to any War of 1812 vets out there — especially you, Senator McCain. Apologies also to my colleague, Alan Taylor, who’s writing what I’m sure will be the definitive treatment of the War of 1812. I mean, how could it not be?