Last weekend, while scurrying around the Tubes looking for historical anniversaries, I noticed that on this day in 1935, “two recovering alcoholics, Bill W. and Dr. Bob S., found[ed] Alcoholics Anonymous in Akron, Ohio, to help each other stay sober.” So I said to myself, “Self, that’s pretty interesting. I’d like to know more about AA. More than I learned from Fight Club, at least, or back in my DJ days, when I spun the wheels of steel at a Narcotics Anonymous dance in 1986.*”
And so, earlier today, I started looking for good sources. I didn’t find much. Most of the histories of AA floating around on the Web are, for what I assume are very good reasons, of the internalist variety and thus lacking in distance from the subject at hand. They’re extraordinarily laudatory; they border on mythology. And they’re often preachy, uncritically asking readers to accept the existence of a higher power. None of that’s too surprising, of course. AA literally saves peoples lives, including, it seems, the people writing these histories. More power to them, I say.
So then I turned to this book, written by my former colleague Sarah Tracy. But it stops before AA starts. That was when I decided that there must be a good history of AA** out there, but I wasn’t going to find it. Or at least I wasn’t going to find it in time to write my usual dazzling take on This Day in History. To make my deadline***, I had to choose another This Day for this day. Pondering my next move, I clicked over to Unfogged, planning to kill some time. I found this post.
It’s written by Alameida****, who, coincidentally, has been sober for two years as of today. I read what she wrote, through tears, three times, finding her words more moving the more familiar they became. I was especially taken by this:
I should also say, hey a few blog people who are out there, you know how you want to stop drinking or using drugs but you can’t? And you wake up every morning in a panic at 5:30am, wishing you had died in your sleep and racking your brains for what you might have done the night before while blacked out? But by 5 that afternoon you’re half-way lit up and/or calling your dealer? And every day you plan to quit tomorrow? Y’all should just head right down to your local AA or NA meetings and do what the nice people tell you. There’s free coffee! Plus you get to meet lots of people who are as crazy as you but conveniently are sober all the time, not like the so-called “squares” and “amateur drinkers” whom you imagine to constitute all of the sober world.
And this:
My husband asked me how I dealt with the whole quasi-religious aspect of letting a higher power conveniently relieve you of the tyranny of addiction, and I told him the truth: I decided that having an internally coherent and consistent world view was less important than being clean and sober and happy. People will tell you about how their worst day now is better than their best day using or drinking at the end and this is annoying but absolutely true. Being an addict is hellish and miserable. Being a normal drinker or someone who likes to get high but isn’t addicted to drugs is perfectly fine, and I wish such a person joy of it. Dude, drink some Maker’s Mark for me, because booze is great! And smoke weed! You can even use heroin responsibly! (For real. Most of the negative things about dope are by-products of its non-legal nature rather than intrinsic demerits. Alcohol is actually a more dangerous drug in my really, really well-formed opinion.)
I’ve been lucky enough to lead a life relatively unscathed by addiction. That’s part of why I found Alameida’s post so powerful: it’s a first-hand view of an unfamiliar and painful subject. (And even though it’s deadly serious, it’s very funny.) My lack of experience with the horrors of addiction also may be why I’m writing this post in my usual half-glib fashion, which tone I hope won’t offend anyone. Assuming that’s the case, and if you don’t have a problem with alcohol, please join me in raising a glass to toast the anniversary of AA’s founding and of Alameida’s sobriety. Here’s to you, Alameida and Bill W. and Dr. Bob S. and all the people out there working their programs. If you want some kick-ass music for your next dance, give me a call. In the meantime, will one of you please write a history of AA?
* True story. Good story. Another time — if you remind me.
** And if there isn’t such a book, as started to seem possible late this afternoon, somebody really should write it. Like, yesterday. Because not only is it a fascinating subject, but I’ve got to think it would sell — though maybe it’s not the sort of thing that some people would want to leave sitting on their coffee table.
*** You probably don’t realize it, but Eric keeps me in a small metal “habitat.” It’s not really that bad. He changes my water every few days. Plus, he got me a wheel for my birthday. And when I run, the lights get brighter throughout Davis. BUT, if I miss my This Day deadline, he takes away all of my cardboard, leaving me nothing to nibble on but the bars of my cage. So I try not to miss deadlines.
**** For those wondering, yes, I did ask permission to link to her post. That’s not something I normally do. But her post struck me as unusually personal.
57 comments
June 11, 2008 at 12:54 am
SEK
From what I saw tonight, you Davis folks are all about habitats.
That said, much as I love Alameida, I must say that everything I learned about the value of AA I learned from Infinite Jest. I know it’s one of those unreadable postmodern tomes, but everyone I know who’s gone through AA says that picture Wallace painted is more achingly accurate than they’d care to admit.
June 11, 2008 at 2:40 am
blueollie
A couple of comments from someone familiar with the 12 steps:
1. The recovery rate is horribly low though not zero and
2. Many ( a significant minority) of the recovered are, yes, agnostics or atheists.
June 11, 2008 at 3:24 am
Martin G.
This is probably a profoundly unhelpful comment, but I’m almost certain I read an article in the New York Review of Books or the London Review of Books or some such magazine about a history of AA/NA. I seem to remember it starting with an ode to the coffee pot at AA meetings.
June 11, 2008 at 4:29 am
The Modesto Kid
There is also some good writing about AA scattered among the works of Kurt Vonnegut, IIRC mostly in God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater! and Breakfast of Champions. But yeah, not as deeply insightful in this regard as Wallace.
June 11, 2008 at 4:35 am
The Modesto Kid
Here is an essay KV wrote in 1983 about AA, which he considers “America’s most nurturing contribution to the culture of this planet so far”.
June 11, 2008 at 4:39 am
SEK
Alright, I sounded crass, so let me add this: I’ve been on the receiving end of Alameida’s outrageous generosity twice now, and I didn’t mean to downplay the awesomeness of her sobriety in the least. I just wanted to make that clear. Otherwise, I’d have spent a night wandering the streets of [PREEMPTIVELY REDACTED] with a wind chill below zero. I owe her my extreme digits and should’ve said as much initially.
June 11, 2008 at 5:43 am
John Emerson
My bro and sil cleaned up with AA. Neither one got too serious about the higher power, I don’t think. Gregory Bateson thought that the higher power was just some abstract super-personal non-individual thing like synchronicity or the social surplus or mana or emergence or something.
AA talk has a selection bias, since the failures quit AA and keep using, but criticizing it in terms of percent of cures seems off the mark unless there’s an unquestionably superior cure. It works for those for whom it works. Though it’s true that AA true believers do reject all other methods.
June 11, 2008 at 6:00 am
Giblets
You all talk crazy talk! South Park has reliably informed Giblets that there’s no such thing as alcoholism. Also, invasion and mass bombing of random countries is justified because it is hilarious.
June 11, 2008 at 6:02 am
Kate Smith
Hmm. I got sober about the time you were deejaying for that NA party. I’m still here. I agree with Alameida – it’s more important to be alive and happy than to argue philosophy. When people ask me how AA works, I just say, “really well.” If it’s not for you, well, off you go, and good luck to you.
Success rates are indeed low. They are, however, higher than those obtained by jails, hospitals, rehabs, and churches. Funny, that.
The only thing that matters to me, of course, is that I no longer have to live the miserable life I once led. The rest is icing.
June 11, 2008 at 6:26 am
Fontana Labs
I bet the AA history could be a fascinating work– I’ve wondered a bit about the history of the idea of addiction as illness (with which AA has a sort of love/hate relationship, if I understand it right). Lots of interesting philosophical issues in the background.
June 11, 2008 at 6:41 am
ari
The early history of alcoholism as illness is the subject of Tracy’s book (linked above) — not to suggest that the question’s been settled. Oh, and while I’m here, why is nobody heaping scorn on SEK?
June 11, 2008 at 6:54 am
SEK
You want to see scorn heaped upon me? I’ll show you scorn heaped upon me. (Ignore the time-stamps, I really haven’t been awake since yesterday.) I even wasted my best old-Jews-think-they’re-Groucho story on them. I WAS GOING TO POST THAT HERE!
June 11, 2008 at 7:05 am
Vance Maverick
I think the reviews and articles about Bill W. and AA that people are remembering were around Susan Cheever’s biography, of 2004.
June 11, 2008 at 7:11 am
ari
SEK, who are those people?
June 11, 2008 at 7:11 am
ari
Upon whom we should be heaping scorn. (Just to complete the thought.)
June 11, 2008 at 7:13 am
The Modesto Kid
Isn’t Patterico somebody from RedState?
June 11, 2008 at 7:13 am
The Modesto Kid
The old-Jew-who-thinks-he’s-Groucho story is a fine one.
June 11, 2008 at 7:27 am
alameida
I should read infinite jest for that reason, I never have. I have thought of writing abut AA?NA before. one interesting aspect is the uniquely american mercantile orientation: it’s all about double-entry bookkeeping of the soul, being bankrupt as going human concerns, jotting down the entries in red and black ink at the end of the day.
June 11, 2008 at 7:32 am
SEK
Ari,
Patterico’s a really sharp prosecutor who works in [an area in LA County made famous by rap songs] and for whom I have great respect because of his commitment to public service … but who happens to be a conservative. He’s wrong about everything, but he puts his money (and tuchus) where his convictions are, and I respect that. Would that all wrong people were as intellectually honest. As for the rest of the folks there, they’re people who know me from my anthropological expeditions into The Wisdom of That which is Protein.
TMK,
That just happened yesterday! And I wasted it in a comment! It’s amazing how much mileage one can get from old Jews in Orange County. It’s like Ft. Lauderdale West out here on prescription days. (Tuesday and Friday, if you’re interested.)
June 11, 2008 at 7:34 am
SEK
double-entry bookkeeping of the soul
Yes, you must read Infinite Jest for the loving of it you will do.
June 11, 2008 at 8:47 am
eric
I bet the AA history could be a fascinating work
I heard you don’t even like history, Labs.
June 11, 2008 at 9:34 am
Russell Belding
William L. White’s book “Slaying the Dragon: The History of Addiction Treatment and Recovery in America,” though somewhat sprawling, probably has all the information anyone could need on the topic, from the Washingtonians to the Keeley Cure and on through A.A.
June 11, 2008 at 9:43 am
ari
Thanks, Russell, for the tip. I just ordered it.
June 11, 2008 at 9:44 am
ari
Also, welcome, as I don’t think you’ve commented before. (But if you have, please forgive my inattention to detail.)
June 11, 2008 at 9:47 am
Russell Belding
Thanks, ari. You didn’t miss me before; I post a comment to the web about once a year, and this was my first one here.
June 11, 2008 at 9:48 am
ari
Oh, in that case, we’ll look forward to hearing from you again in 2009.
June 11, 2008 at 10:08 am
The Modesto Kid
You must mean 2010 — he’s already used up his quota for the next two years just now. And thanks a lot, for forcing him to post the second time.
June 11, 2008 at 10:14 am
Vance Maverick
Has anyone else tried substituting a dot for the splat in Russell’s URL? It’s a wonder he can post at all.
June 11, 2008 at 10:40 am
Walt
Ari, it’s your half-glibness that offends. Choose a side!
June 11, 2008 at 10:47 am
d
Good point, Vance. I hope that dog’s not still looking for a place to poop.
June 11, 2008 at 10:55 am
d
But speaking of AA, has anyone seen that Richard Lewis film called Drunks? Most of it takes place in a meeting, and it’s actually quite good.
I’ve often thought that the greatest obstacle to my being an alcoholic has been my aversion to being in meetings. I figure that if I totally gave into the Demon Rum, I’d eventually get tired of being drunk and would have to seek out some treatment. But I fucking hate meetings, so here we are, sort of clean — I showered, like, recently — and generally operating on a two-drink max.
June 11, 2008 at 10:56 am
apostropher
I loved Infinite Jest, but I’m just like that.
June 11, 2008 at 10:56 am
The Modesto Kid
It’s a never-ending search, when you’re a dog.
June 11, 2008 at 11:18 am
d
If any of you ever meet my wife, just say the words “Infinite Jest” and you’ll be subjected to a ten-minute spasm about how she devoted an entire month to reading it, and blah blah blah, she got to the end and threw it across the room in frustration.
You can produce similar effects by mentioning any Lars von Trier film. Or the queuing behavior of people from any country other than Germany.
She’s like a machine for rants. It’s even better when she’s been drinking. Or worse, depending on how many times you’ve heard the rants.
June 11, 2008 at 11:21 am
eric
She’s like a machine for rants.
Surely she must have a blog.
June 11, 2008 at 11:29 am
d
I wish she did, but she’s a middle school teacher and for some reason believes that her students will discover anything she does on the internet. Which is crazy, of course, since no one has ever seen their anonymity compromised on the internet.
June 11, 2008 at 11:30 am
ari
If any of you ever meet my wife, just say the words “Infinite Jest” and you’ll be subjected to a ten-minute spasm about how she devoted an entire month to reading it, and blah blah blah, she got to the end and threw it across the room in frustration.
Me, too. Not once, but two times — separated by six or seven years. And are you inviting us to visit? Because we will. But back to the topic: In the end, I think I like David Foster Wallace the digressive essayist and relentless footnoter much more than David Foster Wallace the self-indulgent novelist and only occasional footnoter. That said, I enjoyed The Broom of the System and Girl With Curious Hair. But that was all before I forgot how to read.
June 11, 2008 at 12:00 pm
The Modesto Kid
Come on Ari, the third time’s the charm! (Actually I am in favor of trying again with good books that you do not get — it took me 7 times of trying to read it to finish Gravity’s Rainbow, and I still did not get some bits near the end — and it is one of my favorite books. I felt kind of let down by the ending of IJ, like I did not get it, and I would have reread it if my friend Maurice hadn’t borrowed it and never returned it. Probably time to get another copy, that was like 7 or 8 years ago now.)
June 11, 2008 at 12:06 pm
politicalfootball
I, too, really enjoyed Infinite Jest, but will only admit this under a pseudonym because I find the fact vaguely embarrassing. When I finished it, I was delighted by the fact that so many of its readers would be throwing it across the room.
June 11, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Vance Maverick
DFW, is that you?
I too had to try Gravity’s Rainbow several times before getting it. But that’s happened to me with several other books, some far less avant-garde. And I am totally not Thomas Pynchon posting under a pseudonym.
June 11, 2008 at 1:07 pm
The Modesto Kid
Hey Vance, totally off-topic but did you read Pamuk’s The Black Book? It is one that I think would be up your alley.
June 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Vance Maverick
I will check that out! Haven’t read any Pamuk.
Somewhat on topic, Die Legende vom Heiligen Trinker is excellent.
June 11, 2008 at 4:43 pm
The Modesto Kid
Huh — cool! I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.
June 11, 2008 at 5:16 pm
oudemia
I adored Infinite Jest. I put off reading it for the longest time despite everyone I know insisting that I must. One glance at the “branded years” concept and that pic of him on the back with the bandana and I decided it was more of that too-cute ironic boyfiction that all the aforementioned recommenders were reading at the time (looking at you, Mark Leyner). When I finally did read it, it was very nearly in a sitting and I found ultimately not at all too cute or ironic, but moving. Pomo Dostoievsky.
June 11, 2008 at 6:11 pm
urbino
scorn
scorn
scorn
scorn
scorn
SEK
June 11, 2008 at 6:12 pm
urbino
I made it through Gravity’s Rainbow on the first try, but didn’t find myself much edified by the experience.
June 11, 2008 at 6:18 pm
drip
Everyone should read some Pamuk as soon as possible. In exchange, based on the recommendations here (and elsewhere) I will read Infinite Jest. And much thanks to The Modesto Kid for that link to Vonnegut. That’s a guy who is beloved and still undervalued.
June 11, 2008 at 6:30 pm
The Modesto Kid
Everyone should read some Pamuk as soon as possible
Truer words have surely been spoken at some point in our great nation’s history, but I was not present for the occasion. My advice to everybody is to start with Snow and progress backwards, unless you really dig experimental fiction, in which case there is an argument to be made for reading The Black Book first.
June 11, 2008 at 8:34 pm
tom
I think if one wanted to start, a reasonable place would be to review the various editions and printings of the available literature and observe how they have developed over time.
June 11, 2008 at 9:37 pm
ben wolfson
It’s a never-ending search, when you’re a dog.
Sometimes the search ends, when you’re a shaggy dog, but never satisfyingly.
June 11, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Vance Maverick
Tom, I think your comment could be dropped with equal relevance into any post on this blog….
June 12, 2008 at 4:08 am
alameida
I made read gravity’s rainbow over a few days in singa/pore after backpacking in india as a college lass. I was in the grips of the most vile intestinal affliction/feverish evil I have ever suffered, hallucinating all the while and dragging myself on all fours to the bathroom over the cool tiles. the fact that I was simultaneously withdrawing from the codeine and percoset I was swilling in india didn’t help. I subsisted entirely on boxes of chrysanthemum tea while my best friend wandered around seeing the zoo and picking up cute malay guys. I alternated between cheesy tamil movies and GR. I was annoyed by the ending; I wanted everything to wrap up more neatly. when I started this comment I was planning to say I made the mistake of reading it in that condition, but the truth is that being delirious really added to the experience. I finished as the fever broke and was able to make it to the hawker centre at bugis, where I consumed my first food in 3 days: sweet corn and crab soup, with ragged strips of egg white ribboning the delectable broth. it was the most nourishing and delicious thing I have ever eaten.
June 12, 2008 at 6:06 am
John Emerson
D is Mil Millington. German ladies are like that. My sil too.
June 12, 2008 at 10:08 am
ari
I know this isn’t the point of your story alameida, but your comment reminds me of the intensity of experiencing serious (but not too serious) illness while far from home. When I was twenty, I took a year off from school and traveled around Israel/Palestine, Egypt, and Jordan (I tried to go to Lebanon, but that didn’t work out very well). While staying in a very nice fleabag — literally — in Cairo, I must have contracted the same bug you got on your journey. Anyway, I lost about eight kilos, which was a huge amount for me back then. I also spent a day in an Egyptian hospital, which was the only truly scary part of the whole ordeal. And I contemplated what it would be like to waste away while a million miles from friends and family. It was scary, but it also made the whole trip that much more, um, I don’t really know what. Edifying? Jarring? Memorable? Regardless, when I finally recovered enough to eat again, my version of your soup was a huge tureen of hummus and piles of fresh pita. As for reading, I had Geek Love with me. I read it three times, often through a high fever, and still recall some passages from it.
June 12, 2008 at 1:03 pm
washerdreyer
TMK, I read The White Castle first, then The Black Book (and agree that it’s awesome), and have copies of Istanbul and either Snow or My Name is Red sitting at home. I think it was the third time I started it that I read GR.
June 12, 2008 at 1:14 pm
urbino
I was in the grips of the most vile intestinal affliction/feverish evil I have ever suffered, hallucinating all the while and dragging myself on all fours to the bathroom over the cool tiles.
This strikes me as the best of all possible worlds for reading GR.
December 8, 2008 at 7:03 am
Micky
TREATMENT CENTRES:
Treatment Centres utilizing the Twelve Step method of Alcoholics Anonymous aim to bring about a psychological break in the patient. This psychological break is referred to in Alcoholics Anonymous as a “complete psychological change”.
The techniques used by treatment centres to cause a psychological break involve cutting off the patient from his familiar social setting (restricting contact with family and friends) and restricting access to reading material, radio and television.
The patient lives in a situation of inferiority and is regularly reproached by his counsellor and “group” members for using defence mechanisms (humour, self-pity, anger, etc.). The patient is bombarded with repetitive slogans and phrases. The idea is to create sufficient stress to cause a psychological collapse at which point the patient becomes susceptible to influence.
The desired goal is for the patient to abandon free will and to accept the program. The most commonly known term for this form of this process of psychological restructuring is brainwashing.