Beware: spoilers below the fold.

…and the show still sucks. [/spoilers]

Sorry, SEK and Adam, I tried to like it.* I really did.** But the convoluted plot, the embarrassing special effects, and the painful philosophy*** clichés were impossible to ignore. Not to mention Charlie’s stubble.**** And where’s Bailey and the rest of the gang? Did they all get eaten by polar bears or disappeared by the smoke monster? Because if JJ Abrams can erase Party of Five from my memory, I’ll try even harder***** next year to like his crap-ass show.

* Not very hard.

** Again, not really very hard. At all.

*** If only we had a philosophy blogger around here. If only.

**** Rugged. Or perhaps rough-hewn would be more apt. Regardless, manly.

***** Actually, I won’t. But I might consider not punching him in the face if I happen to pass him on the street. No promises, though. Gotta keep my options open.